Nocturnal Beast

Its 3am and I'm wide awake. Mind you that I have school. Goodness, I can't fall asleep. Taking that hour nap at 6pm was a bad idea. I want to sleep but I just end up rolling around. I think I have too many things on my mind. Maybe that's why my skin has been so horrible. I shall write whatever is on my mind. Please keep in mind that this will be very, very random and bi-polar and weird.

Yes, she'll be moving away so maybe he can be mine. Teehee.
I need to do my video. I will add it in on the 19th so that they can't. And then I will do another one. I need to buy it at walmart too. It will be awesome with B.E.G music.
Permit tomorrow!!
Government sucks ass and there's too much. Should I even do it? I wonder if people will do it. Test is on Thursday! DUDE I HATE SCHOOL!!
I'm so fat and ugly. I need to start my diet tomorrow. I hate myself. I need to make clothes look good on me.
I need to ask ma if i can use the rack in my room. Where shall I put it? In the corner. But what about my drawer? And the outlet? Should I even do it? Bahh, nah forget it. Maybe when my closet gets overflowed. I need to keep the rack in a good place then. Tell ma tomorrow.
I need a fucking job.
Kengo and Yuriko Foreverrr!!
I want to find him. I want him. No wait, they're all taken. When will he rescue me? When will I get to spend my nights over at his house or him snucked inside my room? Or him driving in his beat up car and his hoodie over his buzzed head while I sit next to him gazing outside? Or us studying and enjoying some boba with our pj's on? Or cuddling with eachother as we watch our rented movies?
I don't think she's coming back. She's hooked on him for good especially since her friend is being such a whore and hanging out with him all the time. It's because of her that she no longers stay home anymore. Am I being selfish? I don't even need to ask myself that. I know I am but I hate admitting it. She's gone for good. Her single life is gone forever. I can't always depend on her anymore. It hurts me too because she won't even admit it. We tell eachother everything. I hate this. I even hate him. She lies about where she goes. And I know where she goes because I check it.
Pimples. I hate you. Give me back my fucking clear skin.
Oh how you've gotten so skinny. Your no longer the person I knew. You've become so cocky with your lean self, bony neck, and natural beauty. I despise you. You've changed.
Let me go back to the past. I miss my family. Christmas no longer has that warm feeling anymore. Every year I get excited for Christmas but it's just a mere memory. A feeling that I can only imagine and wish to happen. But I'll never get it back. I'll never get that feeling anymore. It's just a memory now. I only have to rely on my memory from now on to think that Christmas is an awesome day. Christmas is now any other day. A day that brings me closer to adulthood.

Fuck, that felt a little bit better.